The Moon and Dance of the Dark & Light
The Moon in the Major Arcana of the Tarot and in Vedic Astrology
It feels strange coming home to the blank page again. I wasn’t sure whether I would even come back.
I’ve not written anything substantial in the past week, being on vacation - on the road for over twenty hours to then napping under the shade of coconut fronds on the uneven, shifting sands or on the poolside lounger. My ears opened, my head swayed to the rhythm of the waves crashing against each other and on the shores, the soft ripples of the water lapping against my calves as I dipped my legs into the pool under the sunshine burst Florida skies. My eyes gazed upon the slow fade of the full moon lunar eclipse as the sun rose to its highest point. Daily journaling, yes. But none of the structured emotional reflective deep dives that I love sharing with you.
I slammed my laptop and notebooks shut to open my heart to receive the beauty of being at the edge of the eastern coast of the continental US, at the same time, the meeting, colliding of two worlds - the earth and the Atlantic Ocean.
I never thought of myself as an island girl, growing up in the middle of Mega Manila, at the hilly edges of its suburban jungle. The Pacific Ocean, the West Philippine sea was not at our literal doorstep. But I lived inside an archipelago. I needed to drive a few hours to dip my toes into the saltwater that surrounded my country.
Yet now, removed from my country of origin, my soul is pulled towards the vast waters that wrapped the edges of my country of residence. My heart sings, heals as the soles of my feet feel the scrape of the sand and the tips of my toes hit the wet sand where the earth and water meet. Am I now allowed to call myself a true island girl?
I looked into my reflection on the phone’s screen as I took a beach selfie with the dog. “This is why we actually go to the beach.” I typed then sent to my husband. I still cannot believe how I am here and not anywhere else - that I am with and taking care of a loving husband and an angel of a second chance corgi, working on my writing, reading cards for myself and others and learning Vedic astrology. Do I deserve to be here? Am I enjoying too much? Where am I going? Am I even doing enough? What exactly is ahead of me in the future? Will I end up in a good, an even better place?
A cloud of darkness befell on my perfect beach day.
This made me think about the Moon, the 18th card in the Major Arcana. Following the collapse of the Tower then the clearing with the hopeful bright Star, the skies are once again cloaked in darkness. But not complete darkness as it is illuminated by the Moon. It is the celestial being that does not have any natural radiance, but rather reflects light generated by the Sun, who is cloaked by the darkness of the night.
In the traditional Rider Waite-Smith, the bright sun is covered by the Moon with an intense furrowed brow, filled with worry. Fifteen drops of light or “yods”, the “first letter of God’s name…symbols of grace”, according to the late great Rachel Pollack float in the sky, falling towards the earth. A winding road passes through the rolling landscape in between two towers. In the foreground are three animals, not humans. Beside the path is a dog, the loyal friend, howling at the moon, and a wild wolf, its tail in full fluff of defense and growling at the dark sky luminary. A giant crawfish emerges from the depth of the waters, inching its way towards the path.
It reminded me of my favorite book of all time, “The Neverending Story” by Michael Ende, which was made into a childhood movie that still occupies my adult imagination. Atreyu, the warrior, who turns out to be a child, summoned by the Childlike Empress to find a cure for her illness. One of the challenges in his mission was to get through the first of two gates to get to Uyulala, the Southern Oracle. Two looming, winged golden sphinxes with eyes closed that only opened to obliterated whoever went through her gates with her piercing laser stare that could see past the flesh and into the very inner crevices of one’s heart. At least the many who attempted to thus far, who did not see and believe in their own worth.
“Don’t doubt yourself! Be confident!” Engywook screamed in fear from his viewing deck.
“Be confident!” Bastian screamed from the school attic in the real world.
Unlike the previous seventeen cards, which were mostly filled with human beings (save for the Wheel of Fortune), the Moon only contains animals are in the frame. We, humans, when consumed by fears, transform back into our animal selves. The animals that are inside of us still. Our logic and thinking are lost when we retreat into the darkness. We howl and growl at that which scares us. In the depths of our souls, we are able to dredge up hideous bottom feeders, monsters that we never even imagined existed in us.
When the Moon is pulled in a reading, we are called to come face to face with these fears. We are called, like the crawfish that surfaced from the muddy bottom, to come out from hiding. We are called like the dog and the wolf, despite keeling in fear, to step onto the path and go through the gate. There is light in spite of the darkness. There is light to lead us through.
In Vedic astrology, the Moon plays a major role. The Moon is the mirror of the mind. It sees every inch of beauty, goodness, fears and flaws. It is the #nofilter navagraha. It is the fullness of emotion and feeling. Without filters, without the discrimination of logic and intellect, we see and feel everything. The Moon is intuition, the reflection of the soul and vitality of the Sun. It is watery, also representing fluids, as the tides it controls. It is compassion. The Moon is the feminine, womanhood, womanity, the comforts of home, nurture and care, fertility, one’s actual mother and the Divine Mother. It also rules the sign of Cancer.
It is one of the fastest moving planets, moving through each zodiac sign every two and a half days, as against the Sun, which transits through each zodiac sign every 30 days It takes the Moon around 27.32 days to go through the entire cycle of the zodiac, which is twelve signs. It embodies the nature of the ebb and flow of life, the waxing and waning, the movement of thinking and emotions. This is why, in Vedic astrology, it makes sense to read one’s daily horoscope through the Moon and not the Sun.
It not only represents all these. The position of the moon in one’s birth chart also determines what phase of life one is born into, called “dasha” in Sansrkit or planetary period, circumstances, condition or state. The Moon’s location with the corresponding lunar mansion and it’s ruler will determine how one’s life phases and cycles are paced and pan out.
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I squint as the noon sun hit my eyes directly. The breeze pushed away the fronds that’ve casted a shadow on me and Curly. I’ve made it THIS far, I thought. But why am I still pulled into the deep seated doubt on what I’ve started with my writing, tarot and Vedic astrology? I am at the edge of the cliff, the gate, the shores that was my advertising career and ahead of me was an unknown - the vastness and depth of the Ocean that is Consciousness. Who will I turn into? Do I completely lose my old self when I embrace the new?
The unease of fear, doubt and uncertainty nibbled gently at first. Now, it latched on its sharp teeth onto my wrist. Will I allow them to drag me back down into the darkness now that I’m basking in the sunlight? Or will I allow them to exist side by side, the darkness with the light, accepting it as a fact of life?
“Run, Atreyu! Run!” Both Engywook and Bastian called out as the Sphinxes eyelids slowly raised, activating their killer laser stares. With all his might and wholehearted belief in himself, Atreyu ran through the gate and dove to dodge the beams of light. He made it through! A challenge overcome!
I exhaled, thinking that this is another one of those challenges. Just as I’ve moved to this new country, bringing my self, gumption and a lot of luck along the way, I brought the entirety of my being, letting the edges blur. There is no clear separation between the faux island girl, living in US. There is no separation between the one who desires to work towards goals and the one who also needs to put up her feet and erase the troubles of the moment. There is no separation between the fearful and the brave little girl. They all live together and make me whole.
I am back on the blank page, filling it with words and stories, sharing it all with you, despite the darkness that has a hold of me. A challenge overcome. I write to live, I live to write another day.
If you’d like to read more about tarot cards and their meanings, head on over to what I’ve written below:
Major Arcana
Minor Arcana