How the hell did I even get here? Why am I even here?!? This girl, who was a walk-the-talk Catholic youth group leader, who so deeply wanted to live and follow the good life, is now knee deep into the box that was labeled “Danger!”
I am the curious Pandora, who opened the box of goodies that she was told not to. A flash bang! I was stunned, as these towering, powerful things inside escaped their prison and surrounded me. Closer and closer they came. But instead of running away from these things - the dark, ugly, damned ferocious monsters I was told that they were all these decades, a warm light, a soft gentle touch caressed me.
Why were we even ever afraid? Are they Monster or Magic?
I started getting to know them one by one - tarot, Lenormand, Human Design and now Vedic astrology. They held my hand through the darkest forest of my life, illuminated and cleared the often unseen path, and continue to do so. They nourished me with nuggets of wisdom. They lit and stoked the fires that I never thought I’d feel again. They showered me with gifts that they’ve said were always inside of me. I want all of them to stay and never back inside the box.
Last night, I pulled The Chariot card, nodded my head in agreement and, yes, it was absolutely that kind of day.
The 7th card of the Major Arcana centers around a charioteer. His chariot is not your base model with the barest of bare features. A star stricken canopy hovers over his also 8-point star crowned head. His facial expression, both tense and smug, in control. His shoulders padded with crescent moon armor. His chest plate golden with a perfect square in the center. The stone chariot, solid and sturdy, held together and carried by two golden wheels. The golden snitch, that housed the philosopher’s stone, hovering above a levitating red yoni and lingam, the symbol of the union of masculine and feminine.
Strangely, the charioteer does not hold reins to control the pair of sphinxes, one black and one white, that pull his vehicle. He holds a staff, proudly. While it does not show explicitly, I’d like to think he was in a “power stance” that renders a confidence of being 100% on top of this machine that is to propel him forward.
The sphinxes are not in motion, simply laying on the ground even not looking towards the same direction. However, behind them is the city, basking in the glory of the bright sky, and a flowing river. The chariot, driven by the charioteer that commanded the creatures, crossed the river and led them to the other side.
Whenever this card is pulled, control of the self in situations and movement are its messages. Confidence, sometimes even a tinge of pride or smugness that I was in control. I managed myself. I used both head and heart, body and spirit, as symbolized by the mythical creatures, to get to where I want to move towards.
Even if I often am in puzzlement of my current place in my place, I got myself here. I moved myself here. Day by day, I turned to the cards - pulled one in the morning and another to end my day. I read cards for friends or anyone who was interested and reached out for one. I read books, listened to podcasts, watched YouTube videos, attended workshops, took courses and, yes, including Instagram posts to learn more. I turned to mentors for guidance and wisdom.
I willed all of this. I am Pandora, who made a seemingly ill-advised decision, to open that box. My determination to learn and practice got me here. I moved myself to this place and space in time. That is why I am here.
I am more confident of my knowledge and skill than I was two years ago. I share the confidence and pride of the charioteer. While I still get hit by bouts of doubt and debilitating insecurity, I step back and remind myself how far I’ve gone in this journey. The sky is bright and I look ahead. There is movement in and with me, so I will continue to do so.
What I am reading:
I must confess that I am deep into the rabbit hole of Vedic astrology, both reading “Beneath a Vedic Sky” by William R. Levacy for reference, and birth charts of different people. Just like tarot, I learn and put into practice. Theory is great, but to see in action, real life case studies, is even better.
As opposed to tarot, I don’t enjoy facing my chart. I was, and still am, very much afraid of what I might see as the charts do show one’s entire being and life. But my Tito, my mentor, who has been deep into astrology since I was a wee baby, told me that we must be able to face the mirror of life, see the good, bad and ugly.
Then I did.
There I saw part of why I am here today, why I am so drawn by the sky and all that’s in it - birds, clouds, sun, moon and the stars. I am meant to be here as this is part of my very essence to look heavenward.
Reading an astrology chart is logical and rational, though perception is otherwise. Just as 1+1 is always 2, astrology is a science of geometry and physics. It is a precise calculation of the positions of heavenly bodies in the sky in reference to the earth and to each other. That each heavenly being has its own gravitation pull that interacts and impacts the others sharing the space between them, causing ripples through all beings, including us, humans, across the Universe.
It is the great pinball game of life.
Each being, space and placement has a meaning. And astrologers those meanings tell the story of you, of life. This is the art part of astrology, the timeless stories and legends of gods and goddesses, archetypes, representing heavenly bodies.
So before I even go down the rabbit hole of Vedic astrology with you, this is a taste of what is to come - “As above, so below.”
What I’ve been working on:
I’ve been busy trying to put in more structure into my working days. Yes, I work. Coming from a career, where you pretty much have processes in (at least most times), it’s challenging starting from scratch without a boss or teammates. Or so I think.
But I was able to do some technical housekeeping, redirecting my old domain into my new website! Woot, woot! I hee and haw, but I did it! I mean, it’s pretty bare bones, but it’s out.
I appreciate your patience as I navigate this new setup in my life. And I’d appreciate the help to, so please don’t hesitate to extend a hand (especially when I rant!) to help. Even if it is just an ear to listen to my incessant questions. Haha!
My books are open, so click here if you’d like me to read your cards.
If you’d like to read more about tarot cards and their meanings, head on over to what I’ve written below:
Major Arcana
Minor Arcana