January 2022 Recap
We’ve come to the tail end of January. The longest month of the year, at least what it feels like, is pfffft. Wow.
The days have been indeed long. Colder are these winter days, which now involve thermals. Gasp! I have not used in the past eight years in North Texas save for last year’s disaster of a snow-pocalypse. I often doubt the iciness of my extremities, whether it is just cold or perhaps another condition other than aging. My husband roars at my frigid touch. I nod and concur as my toes feel it as them bump into each other inside my cozy indoor fleece socks.
It’s been two weeks since my husband flew off to West Palm Beach, Florida. So it’s been just me and Obi at home. Less warm bodies inside, so on top of the thermals, I sometimes turn on the space heater for a few minutes.
The silence is oft golden, allowing me to be with my thoughts on paper. At the same time, it is a sharp as a samurai sword, cutting through the immigrant survival boundaries that I’ve built to reach upward, fortified with layers of straw, mud and steel, over the years to defend myself against loneliness. It catches up to you, in one way or the other.
I’ve taken to the page, of course. But upon finishing the 3,000 word essay, I question whether it is something to be peddled off to publications to be sold and read by the Internet Universe. Does my loneliness have a price for admittance? (Love how Helen Rosner talked about that back in 2016.)
The past week I’ve been reeling in the shame of calling it by its name. That I am lonely. That I did not make enough effort to build friendships in my now home. That I failed to put myself out there. That it was solely my fault because I was not comfortable being alone. That I was ill-fated in my mission to fill my longing for my kaladkarin, a ride-or-die friend within IRL physically vicinity, who’d drop whatever plans on their calendar to commiserate in mine over one or two bottles. That I should pack my days with non-stop activity to push away the feeling.
Today, I’ve reached sobering acceptance that I am feeling lonely, but I am NOT lonely. That loneliness is a feeling, a marker of one’s soul, which can come and go, rolling in and out like the tides. It is a normal human experience as there is no fighting against the inevitable pull of gravity on water. There is nothing wrong with me.
Repeat to self a gazillion times.
The colder weather demands comforts beyond the thermals and space heater, so I decided to take on guinataang mais, sweet coconut milk rice porridge with corn.
I’ve never cooked this dish, as I’ve grown up spoilt by the presence of a household cook and aunt, who were in charge of churning out home made merienda. I turn to Panlasang Pinoy for traditional recipes online, read the recipe and follow through with some experienced cook instinct. While it is not a quick, five-minute put together snack, it is certainly easy. Just tell me if it isn’t and let’s call it a day. LOL.
Ingredients:
1/4 cup of uncooked rice (Traditionally, glutinous rice is used. But I find you certainly can use jasmine rice or short grain Japanese rice, as I did.)
1-400ml can of coconut milk or 2-cups
1/8 cup of refined white sugar
1-432g of whole kernel sweet corn, drained.
Optional: Dash of salt.
Steps:
Rinse uncooked rice, drain starchy water around five to eight times until water runs clear. Then set aside.
Place coconut milk in small saucepan, then over your burner over low-medium heat. Wait for it to simmer, tiny bubbles forming around the edges of the pot. Then add rinsed uncooked rice. Stir occasionally to prevent rice from sticking to the bottom and cook for around thirty minutes until rice is al dente. The rice will expand, fatten up, drinking up the coconut milk.
Add in the sugar. Mix then taste. Feel free to add more sugar to your liking.
Add whole kernel sweet corn and mix.
Enjoy while hot. Or others prefer it cold.
This recipe is a heartier, richer version of it. I do remember enjoying a soupier guinataan that you could slurp instead, which is the tipid version of it, stretching the rice and corn to feed more mouths. I am thinking of working on using already cooked rice next time.
How do you enjoy your guinataang mais? Or have you even tried this?
Didi
What I’ve worked on:
I had two stories published on the Dallas Observer this month, about Eggholic, the new location of this Indian owned chain, and Lunar New Year, on how to celebrate in 2022.
What I’ve read and been reading:
Ruth Reichl, the very person who wanted me to get into food writing more than twenty years ago devouring my Tita’s dog eared copy “Garlic & Sapphires”, wrote about ‘What is American Food?’
a question that’s often plagued my immigrant, non-American on paper, existence in this country.
Plus how news of Jamie Oliver is putting in cultural appropriation specialist within his organization. Mind you, his “empire” is a multimillion enterprise.
Jess Hernandez, Filipino food diaspora writer based in California, goes through an extensive and impressive study of asin.
I still remember walking past baskets and piles of these pristine, snow like salt in the wet market. We’d buy a couple of pesos worth, packed in a thin plastic bag, the same one we used to drink softdrinks with a straw from. We really forget the value of we’ve got until it’s gone. I have not seen any Philippine rock salt over here. Or anyone know where to get some?
“The Art of Memoir” by Mary Karr is a great read, so far, for those who are interested to better their creative non-fiction, personal story craft.
What I’ve watched and been watching:
I remember a friend recommending “After Life” with Ricky Gervais years ago. Knowing that it tackled grief, I never was pulled to watch. As I’ve been grieving somehow, I finished all three seasons of it over the weekend. Yes, you do need to be emotionally prepared to watch, but it still was heartwarming. Despite the fact that it will obliterate you to tears.
Obsessed with Made with Lau’s YouTube channel and his soy sauce noodles recipe. Daddy Lau is a Chinese chef with more than forty years of Chinese restaurant experience. His tips are spot on from scaling up or scaling down recipes for the home. But this recipe, I will pass up on actually cooking it and head on to one of our local Chinese restaurants to eat.